7 years and three kids later nothing has changed! Where do i start? We are living in a one bedroom apt with my mom!!!
Started in 2010 I was 18 and vulnerable! We had gotten pregnant with our first child that is now 6 within the first year of being together, he trapped me he knew that’s what he was doing! Shortly after she was born I had him arrested for domestic violence unlawful restraint and assault but didn’t follow threw with pressing charges, years had past I delt with the abuse for another 4 years thinking he would change and got pregnant with my now two year old! He promised it would change everyone turned there backs on me bc I kept going back, we now have a 9 month old. And I just put him in jail for domestic violence and domestic violence threats, he shattered glass over my body aiming for my head but blocked it with my hand shoved his fingers down my throat bc I screamed for help! Blacked my eye and then forced me in the shower to wash all the blood off.. needless to say I got the text out to a friend to hurry and come get me just before he shattered my phone! All this done in front of our three children! Put him in jail he got out in two days with GPS monitor mental health evaluation and no contact order as well as random drug and alcohol screening! I’m living with my mom in a one bedroom place with the three kids! I feel like no justice was served!! Where do I start with no vehicle nothing!? Just my mom the babies and I??
Starting over is really really hard. But as hopeless as it feels right now, it gets better. First steps to take: 1. Take care of you. If you arent working get on assistance. Then get counseling. You need that to help you not continue that cycle. 2. Get tour kids into counseling too. They need that as well. 3. Get a job that will allow you to be quickly available to your kids in case of an emergency. They are out there. 4. Don’t let yourself feel guilty or let what happened define who you are. He has no power over you unless you let him. Tou got this, I promise. You are blessed to have your mom to help. Mine let my son and I stay in the street intil I finally got her to at least allow my son to stay for a week or so until I was able to find a place. It was a bad time. But I got through it. He and I both did. I am still glad that I left, it was hard but I got a job almost immediately, Then once taxes came in, I got a place. It was the best feeling to be able to get back on my own. I was afraid but I was able to learn that it is ok to not have a man… to be alone. I survived and you can too.
You can do this. You are young. There is plenty of support to go to school. My son is starting over with his kids in a Family Scholar Program. You get housing while going to school. His place is nicer than anywhere I’ve ever lived. You are young and strong. You survived all that And do not expect that court to view women fairly or equally, it’s not the law yet. I lost my inheritance in a marriage now he lives nice while I scrape by. I knew in my gut I shouldn’t marry him and 17 years later I am homeless. You belong to you and the kids and you can and will make your life.
Look for your local domestic abuse shelter. They help you leave and give you a safe place and can try to help you get a place for you and your kids. I just left on Friday from the shelter. My kids and I have our own place after 22 months. We were homeless for almost 2 years bc he thought it was funny to make us lose everything. All we had was some clothes. I was at the shelter for 8 weeks. It wasn’t the first time. You can do it. They also often have support groups so you can meet other women who know what you are going through. Now we have our own place and I can focus on finding a job as I wasn’t allowed to work. It will get better.