My story+recovering questions

About 4 years ago I left my abusive relationship. When I met this man he was charming, fun, and seemed to be very interested in me and who I was. About 3 months in he let his alcoholic tendencies show and started to literally treat me like a dog. Demanding I “fetch” things he would throw and eventually, he ended up beating me. One night we got into a fight and he beat my head against the floor. I knew that it wasnt right but I let it slide, “he was drunk”. He hit me and pinched me, spit on me, wiped feces on me, kept me isolated from my family and friends, broke my phones, and beat my animals when I would not do what he wanted. Later in the relationship be got me addicted to hard drugs. Whilst that was going on he allowed his cousin to rape me, tried to prostitute me to people (I didn’t let it happen), left me alone for days on end in an old shack we called our house….for a long time we had no heat or running water, no food and he didn’t care. I lost 100lbs in 8 months or so….he constantly flipped tables and broke my things, put me down and told me I’d never amount to anything. The last straw was when we were with our roommates and he threatened to kill us all, so we left. I came back and he held me hostage for 3 weeks and would not take me home because I couldn’t drive. 

We lived in a run down hotel for two weeks andI got too drunk and ran away, sending myself to rehab, he accepted that, but when I never came back he continued to threaten me until I made him stop. 

Here’s the wonderful part. Now that I am away from this for 4 years I am happier than ever and I’m in a healthy relationship. I’ve found myself and someone that really loves me. 

 

When I left I was scared he was going to hurt me, so I warned people about what was going on, professional, and I seeked a lot of help via rehab, group meetings, the women’s shelter, my friends and family. I had to reach out and pray almost everyday for years. I still do today. 

I had to run away though. If I would have told him I was leaving he would have hurt me. So I never told him when I was leaving. It took him hurting me a lot and the people I loved before I could bring myself to leave. 

I’ve never tried to talk to him after that and if he tries to contact me I ignore it completely. He is not worth my time at all. 

I’m wondering how I can continue to recover. This all still comes back in the form of flashbacks sometimes and sometimes upsets my s/o that I’ve been hurt so badly it still effects me.

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