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I don’t know even where to begin? Today is the (Detail removed by moderator)day since I ended my relationship with my abusive partner. Being so hurt and shaken lucky I found this website. It was unreal to see that I could relate to nearly every woman on here. I listen to the most important advice and I’m trying to keep contact to minimum. It’s not possible to cut contact completely because he has all his belongings still at my house. I told him I’ll only reply to messages related to him coming to pick up his things. He came (Detail removed by moderator) and I was out when he collected some of his staff. Everything was fine, he didn’t destroy anything or took any of my things as he still hopes I’ll forgive him and we get back. All I found was a letter saying how much he loves me and how sorry he is for treating me so badly. He promised it will never happen again etc. But at the very end he said; (Detail removed by moderator). As usual there must be a reason that is my fault behind his behaviour. There was also my engagement ring ( we got engaged (Detail removed by moderator) ago)the ring he nearly ripped together with my skin when he stormed out (Detail removed by moderator) days ago. It wasn’t the first time he took the ring back, as I was not good enough to be his wife sometimes. I haven spoke to him really for the last (Detail removed by moderator) days and asked him to move out as he was living in my house ( I feel so lucky to have my own place, it must be so hard if you have nowhere to go). Because I didn’t replayed to his messages or phone calls he got his friend to message me. And (Detail removed by moderator) I had a message from his friend saying that my ex partner is in the hospital! I asked what happened. He is depressed and he tried to end his life. I know that he is doing this only to get me back, and this is his last form of manipulation, he had done the same with his last partner. Oh how stupid I feel now, he told me how horrible she was, how badly she treated him and I believed him. He said she took their daughter and moved to other country to hurt him, so he was so desperate and he cut his vain. And I believed in every single word. Now I know, she did her best to stay away from him. We don’t have children together ( oh I’m so glad). But now I’m really worried because I know worst is still ahead of me!! Now he is playing nice because he is trying to win me but I don’t know what to expect when he will realise that I won’t be coming back?! He has few criminal records!! Again everything he told me, was someone’s else fault, he could play me so well. He can be very dangerous as I found out for myself after so many times he spat at my face, threw drinks on me, ripped my clothes, pulled my hair, strangled me, pushed, shouted into my face and worst took a knife while in the rage, I was so scared I had to run out on the street to stay safe. And yes, I feel like an idiot,how could I not see warning signs? How could I tolerate this for such a long time. I’m very educated, independent person but yet I let him to use me and treat me so badly. It’s so easy to say to someone else, oh he hit you, you must leave him! But when it happens to you, it’s completely different story. I love this forum, it opened my eyes, I don’t feel ashamed and alone, I told my best friend what is going on yesterday. Whenever I feel weak or I feel sorry for him, I read somethings here. I’m worried and don’t know what to expect, I know he will make my life living hell, sorry it’s long but I needed to get it out

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