When will the memories fade?
To this day I still remember the first day he laid his hands on me. The memories sting still and I can hear his voice in the back of my head still saying I’m nothing I’m worthless if I can’t have you no one can. I could just even look at him in a different way and he would smack me so hard my ears would ring or he bust my mouth or my nose would bleed. He would hit me then tell me I’m so sorry or worse look what you made me do. Then like always I will never do it again. Til one day he was so angry because he thought I was cheating on him even though I was working all the time. He was raging drunk and he threw me against threw me against the wall and then he picked me up and slammed me down and beat me and kicked me so bad I almost died. Until a friend of mine broke down the door and he saved me and rushed me to the hospital. I was almost dead if it wasn’t for my neighbor. I now have permanent fractured ribs my perphieal vision on my right side is gone. I have PTSD and trust issues.
Unfortunately the memories will never leave, but they will fade and hopefully with counseling you will learn skills to cope with them. From the sound of it you have permanent scars, just like I do, and they are a daily reminder of all that we you have endured, but you survived and you are growing and healing, so please be so proud of that. Its like I’ve said….I’m not a victim of domestic abuse…..I’m a survivor!!! I’ve chosen to deal with all the memories head on, I walk through them over and over, I allow the fear, anger, and sadness to wash over me and I do it all in a safe environment, I know that I’m safe and its just memories , memories that will fade and lessen in time. God bless you and keep watch over you as you heal.